


Better Than I Know Myself

by Kowareta_Tenshi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Frigga (Marvel), BAMF Pepper Potts, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Bottom Steve Rogers, Bottom Valkyrie, Drama, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Fake Character Death, Family Drama, Gen, Giving my depression the finger by letting my MCU babies be happy, Heimdall is a good bro, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Insecure Loki (Marvel), Intersex Jotunn (Marvel), Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jane Foster is a Good Bro, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mpreg, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin's Bullshit Game is Strong, Other, Past Child Abuse, Pepper Potts will own your ass with her legal knowledge, Pregnancy, Pseudo-Incest, Sorry Not Sorry, Sort Of, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony Stark is Still the Nickname King, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Thor (Marvel), Weddings, frigga isn't having odin's bullshit, hela and sif are switchers, hela is a good guy, kiss my ass thanos, nothing graphic, quite a bit of that, romance and shipping, the sun is shining on my precious babies, top carol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-08 02:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20827814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kowareta_Tenshi/pseuds/Kowareta_Tenshi
Summary: I know it gets hard sometimes, but I could never leave your side, no matter what I say.  A collection of drabbles that form a cohesive story.  Definitely Thorki-centric, but includes several other ships as well.





	1. Einn

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, beauties and gentlebeauties! Welcome to my first ever Marvel fic! So, I fell hard and fast into the MCU fandom, and I love every second of it. I’ve been playing around with ideas for this universe a lot, and I’m finally going to start posting. I would have liked to make it a full format story, but I just never seem to have time for that anymore unfortunately. Instead, I am going to post each chapter in drabble format, though the drabbles all tell a cohesive, chronological story. Special shout out to my dear Feliz_Navi_Stop for listening to me fangirl and dialogue dump and being just the coolest friend (and enabler) ever! Just a few things to get out of the way before we get started. Please read the tags and be mindful of them as far as ships and certain events are concerned. While there will be several ships in this series, the main focus will be Thorki. It’s most definitely my OTP for the MCU, but I wanted to include a lot of my other ships as well. Chapters will be named after the Icelandic name for its number. I don’t own anything except the story.   
So, the events of the first Thor movie and The Avengers have taken place. The Dark World will still take place, albeit with several major changes. Speaking of The Dark World, the first drabble starts in the middle of it!

Really, they should have seen it coming. They’d been dancing around their more than platonic feelings for each other for centuries, but the stubborn gods both refused to act on or acknowledge said feelings. One might assume that invasions, betrayals, and forced separation would kill such feelings, but, well, you know what they say about assuming. Perhaps it was because he was enjoying his freedom for the time being, or maybe it was the anticipation of destroying their mother’s murderer, but Loki was in a very playful mood. What better way to express it than <strike>flirting with</strike> teasing Thor?

“Costume’s a bit much,” Loki commented offhandedly. “So tight!” he added, smile widening when he heard Thor’s muffled whimper that he attempted to cover with a cough. “Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?” Loki chuckled to himself as Thor swallowed rather hard, apparently catching the double entendre. _The discussion isn’t the only thing that’s rousing_ the trickster thought gleefully.

When Thor covered his mouth and pushed him against the pillar hard enough to break the illusion, Loki thought that perhaps he’d taken his teasing too far. “You’ll regret that later, Loki,” Thor warned, though the color in his cheeks and the heaviness of his breathing told a different story.

“Somehow I doubt that, Thor,” he purred in response.

Indeed, when Thor had Loki on his hands and knees pounding into him like their lives depended on it later that night, neither of them regretted anything except that it had taken them so long to make love in the first place. As they laid cuddled together basking in the afterglow and enjoying the closeness, Thor decided that he needed to find a way to thank Steve for being the straw that broke the camel’s back, as it were.

Almost as if he could read Thor’s mind, Loki giggled softly. “What would happen if I were to take the form of another of your new friends?”

Thor kissed Loki’s forehead. “I would rather you keep your own form, Loki. You are so beautiful, so perfect this way.”

Loki kissed Thor deeply for this before running his big toe up Thor’s leg. “Maybe we’ll play again in the morning,” he crooned.

Thor’s embrace tightened. “We will definitely play again in the morning,” he promised. “Tomorrow morning, the next morning, and every morning until the end of time.”

Loki nuzzled his head into Thor’s chest. “Thor, are you insinuating what I think you are? Do you intend for this, for us to be a forever thing?”

“Stay with me, Loki,” Thor begged. “Stay by my side as my lover, my spouse, my equal in all things. I love you so much, and I’d be nothing without you.”

Their lips met in a soulful kiss as they pressed their bodies close together once more.

“Ok,” said Loki breathlessly when they broke the kiss.

“Ok?” Thor repeated.

Loki giggled again. “I’ll stay with you, Thor. I love you dearly, more than anyone else in all the Nine Realms, and I, too, would be nothing without you.”

Loki pressed a kiss to the back of one of Thor’s hands. “My King,” he whispered. “My lover.”

“My lover,” Thor echoed as he kissed the back of Loki’s hand in return. “My Queen.”


	2. Tvö

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some of Loki's insecurity needs to be addressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! So this drabble is pretty short and picks up right where the last one left off. Please heed most of the Loki related tags for this drabble. I still don’t own anything so far except the story. Enjoy!

Despite it having been Loki’s idea to make love again in the morning, he seemed apprehensive when Thor’s sweet good morning kisses became sensual. Sensing his lover’s discomfort, Thor stopped and looked into the emerald eyes he adored.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“It’s nothing,” Loki lied.

Thor’s frown deepened. “Loki, it’s not nothing. Something is bothering you. Please tell me?”

Loki fidgeted. “You’ll be disgusted. You’ll hate me again.”

“I have never hated you, Loki. No matter how frustrated I get with you, I have never hated you. I’ve always thought the world of you. I love you, and everything about you. The only thing you could tell me that would disgust me is that you weren’t sincere last night, but I know you better than that.” Thor pressed a soft kiss to Loki’s forehead, making the younger god sigh in a contended manner.

“It seems as though you know me better than I know myself, Thor.” He sat up, keeping the bedsheet draped across his waist. “I’ve never showed anyone. Mother knew, but that’s it. It’s been...difficult, understanding what I am and accepting it for myself. But you, you mean everything to me, and I don’t want you to be disappointed or repulsed by me.” As he spoke, Loki slowly pulled the sheets down until his whole body was uncovered. “You couldn’t see it last night, which I selfishly enjoyed. If you hate what you see, at least I know what it’s like to be loved by you.”

Thor was admittedly surprised by what he was seeing, but despite Loki’s fears, he thought that the sight before him was beautiful, one more thing that was special about his beloved. Below Loki’s manhood was a vagina. “Oh, Loki!” Thor sighed.

Loki closed his eyes. “I knew you would be disgusted.”

“Disgusted?” Thor repeated incredulously. “Loki, you are beautiful. Look at you! Norns, you are so perfect.”

Loki’s eyes snapped open, disbelief and hope both shining in them. “You don’t hate me? You aren’t disgusted by my abnormality?”

Thor pulled Loki to him and embraced him tightly. “I love you, Loki. ALL of you. You’re not abnormal, ástin mín. You are special, beautiful, unique, and absolutely perfect.”

Loki squeezed Thor tightly, misty eyed with a happy smile on his face. “I love you too, Thor. So much more than I will ever be able to tell you.”

Thor smiled before trailing kisses down Loki’s face and torso until he arrived between his legs and began to show Loki exactly how much he loved every part of his beautiful lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! I forgot that I’m using Icelandic or Old Norse words in this series. Oopsie doopsie! Ok, for this chapter and all future chapters, see the end notes for translations.  
astín mín: my love


	3. Þrjú

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Observations and happy surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack! We're diving right along here. I didn't intend for this stretch of time to take so long, but I'm getting ideas left and right that won't leave me alone until I write them out. I'm really enjoying writing this, and I hope y'all are enjoying reading it, too!

Jane Foster was surprised to see Loki free from his cell, but she was even more surprised to see him so at ease. What surprised her the most, however, was the fact that he and Thor had been holding hands for most of the time they’d been on their journey. There was definitely something between the two gods, and while Jane wasn’t a betting woman, she was certain that the “something” was romantic in nature. While the pair was in their own little world, seemingly barely aware of her presence, the astrophysicist thought things over. If she was being completely honest with herself, she could say that she wasn’t entirely surprised. After all, Thor had always spoken about Loki with adoration that went beyond brotherly conventions, and all the interactions she’d witnessed between them seemed more flirtatious than familial. She smiled softly as Thor ran his thumb over their joined hands and gazed upon the younger man like he was a priceless treasure. Loki looked back up at Thor and smiled serenely, looking younger and more care-free than Jane had ever seen him. She giggled as she watched them, which drew their attention.

“Is something humorous, Dr. Foster?” asked Loki with a raised brow.

“No, not really,” she answered. “It’s not amusing so much as it is precious.”

“Precious?” Thor repeated, his facial expression mirroring Loki’s.

Jane smiled. “It’s just…watching the two of you interacting is like watching a newlywed couple. It’s cute.”

Both gods looked sobered by this, and Thor looked a little guilty. “Jane, I wanted to talk to you about Loki and me, but---“

The mortal woman shook her head. “No, don’t start apologizing or feeling like you owe me any sort of explanation. I do want to clarify, however. Am I correct in my assumption that there is some sort of romantic relationship between you two?”

“Yes,” said Thor without hesitation, grasping Loki’s hand a little tighter as though to reassure the younger of his devotion while explaining himself to his ex.

Jane smiled at them fondly. “I’m happy for you. Honestly, I’m not surprised. The pair of you have always acted more like a married couple than brothers.”

Loki blinked in surprise. “I wasn’t aware.”

“Well, I’m not sure what marriages are like in Asgard, but here on Earth, you guys definitely act like a couple.”

“I am happy that you are so accepting, Jane. I never wanted to hurt you,” said Thor.

Jane hugged him. “You haven’t. You know, this is the happiest that I’ve seen you. Both of you. You deserve it.” She pulled back so she could look him in the eye. “Friends?”

Thor grinned. “Aye. Friends!”

Loki was surprised when Jane hugged him as well. The astrophysicist laughed when she saw the look of bewilderment on the god of mischief’s face. “I’d like for us to be friends, too. Is that ok?”

“...Yes. Yes, I’d like that.”

//////////////////////////

Getting the Aether extracted from Jane so it could be contained went relatively smoothly. As Loki knew all too well, however, good things didn’t usually last, and the battle ended up with Malekith having Thor pinned while Loki was preoccupied with keeping Jane safe from Algrim. Loki ran in a blind panic, throwing himself between his lover and Frigga’s murderer.

“LOKI, NO!” Jane screamed as she watched the Dark Elf’s blade swing towards the younger god’s chest.

The trickster closed his eyes and waited for impact.

It never came.

Loki opened his eyes and couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Algrim had run Malekith through. The leader dropped dead, his look of shock frozen on his face forever.

“What?!” Thor stood, pulling Loki up with him. Neither could believe what they had just seen. Jane ran over to them.

“Are you both alright?” she asked breathlessly.

They both nodded the affirmative, still staring at Algrim, who gave Malekith’s corpse a hard kick before turning to face them. There was a short burst of yellow light, and then Algrim’s form shifted. Only Thor’s arm around his shoulders kept Loki from collapsing as Frigga appeared where Algrim had just been standing.

“Moðir!”

Loki would have found Jane’s current impression of a goldfish hilarious if he wasn’t so blown away at the moment. He could do nothing but stare at his supposedly dead mother as Thor walked towards her and put a shaking hand on her shoulder, her real, solid shoulder.

“You...you’re real. It’s really you!” he murmured.

Frigga smiled. “It’s really me, my son.”

Thor threw his arms around his mother, shoulders shaking as he struggled to keep himself together.

Frigga hugged him back happily. She then looked over his shoulder, and her smile widened. “Loki, my son. Come here.” The queen found herself damn near tackled as soon as the words were out of her mouth as Loki launched himself at her. As her sons slowly released her, as though still trying to reassure themselves that she was really here, Frigga turned her smile to Jane.

“Dr. Foster. It’s wonderful to see you again, my dear, and without the burden of the Aether.”

“How is this happening?” Jane blurted, still looking gobsmacked.

Frigga laughed. “Actually, I owe you gratitude, Loki. You gave me the idea, after all.”

“Huh?”

“It would be quite simple to defeat the Dark Elves once and for all if I was believed dead. I killed Algrim and magicked him to look like me, and then I took on his form and followed Malekith here. I knew that Thor would come to rid Dr. Foster of the Aether, so I bided my time, waiting for the opportune time to kill him without him ever suspecting a thing. I’d say that there’s no better time to kill your enemy than when he threatens your children’s lives!” She laughed again as the three looked back and forth at each other, trying to absorb everything she’d said.

Jane seemed to recover first as she smiled and gave a polite curtsy. “I’m glad that you’re alive, Your Majesty.” She turned back to Thor and Loki with a grin. “Things are really looking up for you guys now! The elves are dead, your mom’s alive, and you guys are dating. Er, courting. Actually, I don’t know what you guys call it.”

Both gods paled and looked nervously at Frigga for her reaction to this last bit of information. To their immense relief, the queen looked happy.

“I knew something felt different with you, my sons. I am so happy that you have found love and peace with each other. Norns know you both well deserve it.” She looked over at Jane. “Nothing against you, my dear.”

Jane shook her head. “They suit each other, don’t they?”

“Absolutely.”

Thor threaded his fingers with Loki’s. “You truly don’t mind, Moðir?”

Frigga laughed at this. “Of course I don’t mind! I don’t mind at all that my sons are truly happy for the first time in centuries! Why would it matter to me?”

“Because we’re brothers,” Loki murmured, squeezing Thor’s hand self-consciously.

Frigga smiled. “Yes, but you’re forgetting a very important detail, my dear: we are gods. Such conventions don’t truly matter to us. Marriage between family members is nothing new and isn’t the taboo that it is on some of the other realms.”

Thor flushed slightly at the mention of marriage. He certainly would be over the moon with happiness to marry Loki, but they were so new to their relationship, and he didn’t want to scare Loki away by moving too fast.

Loki chuckled. “You’re making that face like you’re thinking too hard about something.”

Thor shook his head. “Thinking about our future is important, don’t you think?”

“Aye,” Loki allowed. “As long as your future plans don’t include you leaving my side.” The younger god sobered. “Well, as best as you can once I return to my cell, anyway. I suppose it’s rather selfish of me to ask you to remain faithful to a partner you can’t truly have.”

Frigga cleared her throat. “I think it’s time that we had an honest talk about what happened on Midgard. Something happened to make you act as you did, Loki, and I want to know what it was.”

Loki swallowed. He really didn’t want to get into this. It’s not like Odin would change his mind, anyway. Not when he had Loki exactly where he wanted him, locked away in a cage and on display like all his other ill-gotten prizes.

Frigga seemed to understand his train of thought. “I am not your father, Loki.”

“Neither is the Allfather,” Loki countered.

Frigga opened her mouth to argue, but Thor interrupted her. “No, Moðir, he’s right. Faðir has not acted like a father to Loki. He has treated him as less than a son, and it has done much damage to him.” He squeezed Loki’s hand and looked him in the eye. “Please, astín mín, tell us what happened. I too have been remiss in giving you what you need and deserve, and I’d like to start making it up to you.”

The insecurity was back in Loki’s green eyes, and Thor kissed his forehead gently. “I already told you, Loki: there is nothing you can say that will make me hate you. Please, tell us what happened to you.”

Jane stepped forward and put a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Please, Loki. We just want to help you. We all care about you, and we’re all here to support you.”

Loki still looked anxious, but he sighed and said, “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moðir-mother  
Faðir-father  
astín mín-my love


End file.
